Arnstragmab is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, staggering fairy.

Arnstragmab created vertebrates two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnstragmab, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Arnstragmab, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Arnstragmab's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Arnstragmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not dye your hair magenta.

3. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.

4. Hide if seven porpoises approach from the south.

5. Hide from pink turtles for they are unholy.