Quillbepnad is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, slow grasshopper.

Quillbepnad created the Cigar Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillbepnad, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quillbepnad, she will turn you into a snail.

Quillbepnad's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Quillbepnad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill goats.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not speak about tomatoes.

5. Do not stand on grass.