Rulmegparkbod is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, temperamental squid.

Rulmegparkbod created an atom three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rulmegparkbod, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Rulmegparkbod, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Rulmegparkbod's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Rulmegparkbod's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Rulmegparkbod four times a day.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. You must never eat oranges.