Kabyaktif is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, self-confident butterfly.

Kabyaktif created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabyaktif, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kabyaktif, she will turn you into a mouse.

Kabyaktif's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Kabyaktif's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five goats approach from the north.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.