Bapyakgep is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, unselfish crow.

Bapyakgep created the planet Mars six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapyakgep, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bapyakgep, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bapyakgep's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Bapyakgep's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never laugh near dogs.

4. Bapyakgep loves rats, so they must be honoured.

5. Never talk about gravity.