Ruttdogpag is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, calm snail.

Ruttdogpag created the universe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttdogpag, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ruttdogpag, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Ruttdogpag's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Ruttdogpag's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Ruttdogpag.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

5. Always pray immersed in water.