Bonkgilnak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, dishonourable turtle.

Bonkgilnak created a charm quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonkgilnak, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bonkgilnak, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Bonkgilnak's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Bonkgilnak's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

5. Do not take Bonkgilnak's name in vain.