Gonwodapp is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, merciless mink.

Gonwodapp created matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonwodapp, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gonwodapp, he will jump up and down on your head.

Gonwodapp's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Gonwodapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Never hurt ants.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

5. Hide from red voles for they are unholy.