Listtapbaf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, quiet finch.

Listtapbaf created the Cigar Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Listtapbaf, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Listtapbaf, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Listtapbaf's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Listtapbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Listtapbaf must be the most important thing in your life.