Vonkfebstan is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, awe-inspiring zebra.

Vonkfebstan created a charm quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkfebstan, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vonkfebstan, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Vonkfebstan's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Vonkfebstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never think ill of sick horses.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Fast once a month.