Fasbum is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, charitable squid.

Fasbum created the Whirlpool Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fasbum, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fasbum, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Fasbum's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Fasbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Run away if five seals approach from the west.

4. Hide from cyan doves for they are unholy.

5. Never go into green rooms.