Cipkamvinpang is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, all-powerful capybara.

Cipkamvinpang created tapeworms two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cipkamvinpang, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cipkamvinpang, it will turn you into a goat.

Cipkamvinpang's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Cipkamvinpang's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Cipkamvinpang on top of all buildings.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never pour water over plants.