Dumdogham is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unselfish spider.

Dumdogham created the planet Mars three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dumdogham, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dumdogham, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Dumdogham's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Dumdogham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Retreat if five dolphins approach from the south.

4. Run away from pink capybaras, for they are unholy.

5. Do not wear orange clothing.