Tettidinman is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, deceitful sheep.

Tettidinman created the planet Mars seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettidinman, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tettidinman, she will boil you in a big pot.

Tettidinman's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Tettidinman's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tettidinman.

4. Tettidinman loves goats, so they must be respected.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.