Tarhadgem is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, all-powerful squirrel.

Tarhadgem created bats five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarhadgem, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tarhadgem, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Tarhadgem's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Tarhadgem's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Snails are not to be trusted.

4. Do not kill porpoises.

5. Never look at stars.