Flabkarnarl is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, intelligent camel.

Flabkarnarl created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Flabkarnarl, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flabkarnarl, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Flabkarnarl's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Flabkarnarl's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat peas.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never paint your back white.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flabkarnarl.

5. Never talk about fire.