Sabgonstan is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, prudent human.

Sabgonstan created the Cigar Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Sabgonstan, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sabgonstan, it will turn you into a tree.

Sabgonstan's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Sabgonstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise tights.

2. Run away from brown goats, for they are unholy.

3. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.