Quillbegman is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, thoughtless otter.

Quillbegman created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Quillbegman, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quillbegman, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Quillbegman's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Quillbegman's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Do not eat turnips.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not wear indigo clothing.

5. Never wear black trousers.