Lenbantam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, loving clam.

Lenbantam created an electron three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lenbantam, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lenbantam, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Lenbantam's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Lenbantam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never mention rats.

4. Put Lenbantam first in all things.

5. Always wear purple.