Bigpakvolripbattimpop is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, selfish owl.

Bigpakvolripbattimpop created silver two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bigpakvolripbattimpop, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bigpakvolripbattimpop, he will destroy your home solar system.

Bigpakvolripbattimpop's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Bigpakvolripbattimpop's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine otters approach from the south.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. You must never eat coconuts.