Lan is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, humane lion.

Lan created the Sol system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lan, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lan, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Lan's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Lan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shirts.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

4. Put Lan first in all things.

5. Do not stand on grass.