Bagmonhon is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unselfish alligator.

Bagmonhon created the Whirlpool Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagmonhon, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bagmonhon, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bagmonhon's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Bagmonhon's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Hide if three whales approach from the west.

4. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Bagmonhon.