Haktimkip is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, almighty gnu.

Haktimkip created an up quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Haktimkip, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Haktimkip, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Haktimkip's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Haktimkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Worship no other gods but Haktimkip.

3. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

4. Do not hurt shrews.

5. Never sing in the presence of mites.