Cuddadhap Laktonkpak is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, confident hummingbird.

Cuddadhap Laktonkpak created snails five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cuddadhap Laktonkpak, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Cuddadhap Laktonkpak, she will manifest in front of you.

Cuddadhap Laktonkpak's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Cuddadhap Laktonkpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention ants.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Never go into mauve rooms.