Gabtafsid Hotbemzedwonmifcabfab is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, self-assured hippopotamus.

Gabtafsid Hotbemzedwonmifcabfab created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Gabtafsid Hotbemzedwonmifcabfab, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gabtafsid Hotbemzedwonmifcabfab, he will turn you into a dog.

Gabtafsid Hotbemzedwonmifcabfab's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Gabtafsid Hotbemzedwonmifcabfab's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Gabtafsid Hotbemzedwonmifcabfab six times a day.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gabtafsid Hotbemzedwonmifcabfab.

3. Always obey Gabtafsid Hotbemzedwonmifcabfab's priests.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.