Taprowman is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, pitiless gerbil.

Taprowman created Asia six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Taprowman, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Taprowman, he will try to impress you with trees.

Taprowman's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Taprowman's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Run away from purple mites, for they are unholy.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never sing in the presence of ants.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.