Tonkmankar is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, moody mongoose.

Tonkmankar created the Cigar Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkmankar, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tonkmankar, it will turn you into a snail.

Tonkmankar's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Tonkmankar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Always help foxes in need.

3. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. You must never eat gooseberries.