Mottonkken is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, narcissistic raccoon.

Mottonkken created the universe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Mottonkken, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Mottonkken, she will destroy your favourite star.

Mottonkken's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Mottonkken's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moons.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

5. Do not chop down trees.