Bamfumcib is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, stupid shark.

Bamfumcib created a bottom quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamfumcib, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bamfumcib, he will curse you with boils.

Bamfumcib's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Bamfumcib's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lemons.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not dye your hair mauve.

5. Do not shave your chest.