Tomflapgovnigcamhab is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, vain hippopotamus.

Tomflapgovnigcamhab created energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Tomflapgovnigcamhab, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tomflapgovnigcamhab, it will turn you into a puffin.

Tomflapgovnigcamhab's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Tomflapgovnigcamhab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.