Wabhivsaw Carbegtagman is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, happy rhinoceros.

Wabhivsaw Carbegtagman created Africa four million years ago.

If you believe in Wabhivsaw Carbegtagman, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wabhivsaw Carbegtagman, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Wabhivsaw Carbegtagman's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Wabhivsaw Carbegtagman's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never pour water over plants.
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