Batarpflow is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, pitiless fairy.

Batarpflow created a top quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batarpflow, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Batarpflow, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Batarpflow's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Batarpflow's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt eagles.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. You must pray to Batarpflow six times a day.

4. Never skip in the presence of rats.

5. Put Batarpflow first in all things.