Kapafnell is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, caring dolphin.

Kapafnell created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapafnell, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kapafnell, she will be very sad.

Kapafnell's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Kapafnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear skirts.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not take Kapafnell's name in vain.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.