Bembudbon Tiksaktad is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, weak rhinoceros.

Bembudbon Tiksaktad created an up quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bembudbon Tiksaktad, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bembudbon Tiksaktad, she will turn you into a worm.

Bembudbon Tiksaktad's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Bembudbon Tiksaktad's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not hurt aardvarks.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Do not eat coconuts.

5. Bembudbon Tiksaktad must be the most important thing in your life.