Dobmatsit Lunyarptag is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, tiresome lizard.

Dobmatsit Lunyarptag created the Cigar Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Dobmatsit Lunyarptag, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dobmatsit Lunyarptag, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Dobmatsit Lunyarptag's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Dobmatsit Lunyarptag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never write about cell theory.