Tikjanlat is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, ruthless grasshopper.

Tikjanlat created the universe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikjanlat, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tikjanlat, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Tikjanlat's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Tikjanlat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Feed all hungry mice.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never talk about amino acids.