Cepontyarlcan is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, amazing donkey.

Cepontyarlcan created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cepontyarlcan, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cepontyarlcan, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Cepontyarlcan's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Cepontyarlcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill swans.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Cepontyarlcan must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. You must never eat figs.