Tabflantig Targofzimdun is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, blissful wasp.

Tabflantig Targofzimdun created a strange quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tabflantig Targofzimdun, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tabflantig Targofzimdun, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tabflantig Targofzimdun's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Tabflantig Targofzimdun's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never go into magenta rooms.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not listen to music.