Goftifbog Dab Boncubnat is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, all-knowing squid.

Goftifbog Dab Boncubnat created humanity six million years ago.

If you believe in Goftifbog Dab Boncubnat, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Goftifbog Dab Boncubnat, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Goftifbog Dab Boncubnat's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Goftifbog Dab Boncubnat's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Hide if four mice approach from the west.

3. Run away from green pigs, for they are unholy.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.