Carkomloop is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, unfair raccoon.

Carkomloop created parasitic wasps eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Carkomloop, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Carkomloop, he will boil you in a big pot.

Carkomloop's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Carkomloop's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always help nematodes in need.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Carkomloop must be the most important thing in your life.