Gum is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, humorless gorilla.

Gum created the planet Venus eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gum, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gum, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Gum's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Gum's Holy Commandments

1. Put Gum first in all things.

2. Always help bats in need.

3. You must never eat spinach.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.