Monontnutfonfom is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, unthoughtful bird.

Monontnutfonfom created the Whirlpool Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Monontnutfonfom, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Monontnutfonfom, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Monontnutfonfom's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Monontnutfonfom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about spinach.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Monontnutfonfom on top of all buildings.

5. Do not stand on grass.