Nilnakpak is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, proud meerkat.

Nilnakpak created light two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilnakpak, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Nilnakpak, it will destroy your home planet.

Nilnakpak's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Nilnakpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

2. Never wear pink stockings.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. You must never eat pineapples.