Nanjadlim is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, kind cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Nanjadlim created dark energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nanjadlim, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nanjadlim, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Nanjadlim's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Nanjadlim's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of nematodes.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Retreat if eight dogs approach from the south.

4. Do not kill voles.

5. Never laugh in holy places.