Jipbassfasvol is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, stupid seal.

Jipbassfasvol created humankind four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipbassfasvol, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jipbassfasvol, she will turn you into a mouse.

Jipbassfasvol's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Jipbassfasvol's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Jipbassfasvol must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never talk about comets.

4. Jipbassfasvol loves voles, so they must be honoured.

5. Never eat aubergines.