Gemwipgil is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, temperamental turtle.

Gemwipgil created Africa seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemwipgil, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gemwipgil, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gemwipgil's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Gemwipgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Feed all hungry monkeys.

3. Do not dye your hair magenta.

4. Hide if seven manatees approach from the south.

5. Do not drink alcohol.