Quamkadven is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, smart alligator.

Quamkadven created life seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamkadven, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quamkadven, it will turn you into a mouse.

Quamkadven's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Quamkadven's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest magenta.

2. You must love Quamkadven.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Quamkadven loves foxes, so they must be respected.