Nullgardubominrilvadrillbif is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, tranquil porpoise.

Nullgardubominrilvadrillbif created Asia four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nullgardubominrilvadrillbif, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nullgardubominrilvadrillbif, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Nullgardubominrilvadrillbif's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Nullgardubominrilvadrillbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always obey Nullgardubominrilvadrillbif's priests.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.