Watfagtonk is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, overgenerous scorpion.

Watfagtonk created an electron three million years ago.

If you believe in Watfagtonk, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Watfagtonk, he will cry a lot.

Watfagtonk's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Watfagtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Watfagtonk.

3. Do not dye your hair yellow.

4. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always obey Watfagtonk's priests.