Baflopfemflag is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, unfair jackal.

Baflopfemflag created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Baflopfemflag, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Baflopfemflag, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Baflopfemflag's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Baflopfemflag's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Sheep are not to be trusted.

5. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.